Moving away from Boston about a year ago I recently visited after being away the longest period of my life. I’ve come to realize that home is not a physical location, it’s a state of being of comfort, familiarity, love and support. I’ve committed to that way of being now being away from “home” for nearly a year now. It isn’t easy and I’m still working through this part of my journey and the biggest support has been creating a deep love within myself. It was a great visit overall and very challenging at the same time. I quickly saw myself fall into patterns of spreading myself thin and trying to have it all. I saw the challenges living on two different coasts with it being difficult to be present and enjoy the moment.
I reached out to a dear friend of mine to get her perspective of “home”. Magalie launched Magalie René-Hayes Interiors and Kid-Smart Spaces in 2012 and has been transforming spaces ever since. She works on a variety of residential, commercial, and institutional projects in the New York Tri-State area, Los Angeles, and across the US, including several elementary and middle schools.
1. How would you define “home”?
Home is less a place than it is a feeling and a choice you have the power to create. It's the sense of peace, contentment, clarity, and joy you feel when you say "I feel so at home." That saying is perfect because when you think about it, with practice, we can choose to create that level of ease, comfort, and happiness whenever we want.
2. What does a sanctuary mean to you?
Sanctuary is one of my very favorite words. First, because it has such a soft, relaxing ring to it. But also because I believe you are your own sanctuary. You are your own haven. For me, sanctuary means seeing the beauty in myself, bringing joy to others and being on the journey to my purpose. Those things keep me grounded.
On the practical side, a sanctuary supports whatever you're working to accomplish in life or whatever means the most to you. Whether that's your peace of mind, your family, your health, your business goals - your sanctuary honors and supports those things. It's a reflection of you.
3. How important is physical space to creating results in your life?
That's a tricky one because anything you truly want to create in life must first come from within. It's inner work that begins with your mindset and your choices. That said, it's also true that what you surround yourself with reflects back to you and contributes to what you create. If you want to level up in your business surround yourself by people who are driven, focused, and inspiring because like attracts like. Right? The same goes with your home.
What is it attracting? Is it clean or cluttered? Is it thrown together haphazardly or does it have a cohesive flow? Are you surrounded by unattractive, meaningless objects that don't serve any function or does your space bring you joy? Is it all function without any beauty, color or art to speak of? I can also get granular and ask whether it's easy to find your keys and cellphone so you glide off to work in the morning or if an inconvenient layout is contributing to your already stressed life.
Both practically and energetically speaking, your space can be an impediment to your success if it doesn't align with what you say you want in your life and who you truly are.
4. How do design and personal development intersect?
One word: Intention. Personal development is all about living intentionally and mindfully. I refer to myself as a ‘Conscious Designer’ because the service I provide is more than just designing stylish spaces. I deeply believe every space I design should be rooted in what my clients want to create in their life, business or learning environment.
With personal development having an intention for every action you take creates momentum, responsibility and inner peace. Before you know it, you're living a fulfilled life. Apply the same philosophy when it comes to your home. First, be intentional about what kind of atmosphere you want to create. Then, choose powerfully what elements stay, go and/or get brought in.
As with conscious living, if you're clear on your intention, you don't even need to know the "how to". Just trust yourself, take one step at a time, and before you know it you'll have created a joyful, focused and peaceful space. You may even catapult your life forward in a big way.
5. If you could choose one piece of furniture to describe you... what would it be?
:) Definitely the egg-shaped Himalayan salt lamp I have on my nightstand. It's curved and feminine but rock solid and strong. And, when the light inside it shines you can see all the cracks and imperfections and that where its true beauty lies. And of course - it's good for your health!!
It’s very clear to me environment really can dictate behavior and feelings. I felt a lot of emotions seeing places I haven’t seen in a long time. Streets, buildings or neighborhoods that reminded me of memories. Being grateful for it all because without those experiences I wouldn’t be where I’m at today. What I’ve learned most about myself is I am able to adapt and trust myself and I created my home away from “home”.
For more about Magalie check out her website: www.magalierenehayes.com
How Portland’s best tacos and business operations sparked my journey for reaching my fullest potential...
A few years ago I sat by myself in my new found favorite taco spot (shout out to Por que No) having a second round of guac and chips along with a pineapple margarita as my flight was delayed. In a buzzed reflection, I began to realize I had accomplished one of the defining moments of my early career. After traveling back and forth from Boston to Portland, OR for three out of five weeks this particular spring/summer, I fell in love with a city, the people and really this way of being. It was my sweet spot of passion, fulfillment and responsibility.
I took on a leadership role and executed against a plan that I helped build. I was responsible for something and made an impact. Not knowing at the time, this would shape my purpose and vision today. What I knew subconsciously back then is that I have the ability to make an impact. When I believe in myself, I am powerful and authentically make a difference.
When I say make a difference, I didn’t realize the impact I have in meeting and interacting with people. It wasn’t easy and by no means was the job complete, however, I grew more as a person and employee than any other stretch of my career. We get surrounded by lessons with people each day, each minute almost. Each time is an opportunity to learn something about ourselves in how we either react or don’t.
This period of my life sparked a fire about finding my purpose by not settling and reaching my fullest potential.
Two things I’ve invested a majority of my time in and experience in my life are Business Operations and Personal Development. It dawned on me that Personal Development is as important to a person as Business Operations is to a company… in my opinion. I have a bias being an Ops person for nearly a decade now and a lifelong personal developer. As a firm believer of both being extremely valuable/essential, it really hit me that they are very similar in how they contribute to the greater purpose.
If you aren’t clear, Business Operations is how an organization functions. It’s about system tools, people and overall health of the business and how it “operates”. Within that, there are processes and efficiencies. Personal Development is also about maximizing potential, creating awareness and more efficient ways to resolve challenges in life.
I remember first being introduced to “Ops” and diving in and really loved the idea of building this perfect plan to make things efficient and clear and optimized. Or solving a problem with a creative solution and creating an amazing process. What I quickly realized was my love for the plan was rarely aligned with others feelings about my plan. Early on I didn’t understand why others weren’t excited about the possibility of creating a “better” way to do things. I felt that the result was important where senior leadership saw the value. Yet getting people to align was often very challenging.
How was this similar to Personal Development? Business Operations is about efficiencies, yet it takes investment, time, energy, money and support in order to see the result. Which by the way may come but not right away or at all in some cases. UNLESS you are bought into the process, you have constant evaluations, checking to see what’s working, what’s not. It’s fluent where it requires time, effort and new strategies to really break old patterns and processes that either isn't working and/or need an upgrade to adjust to where the person/business is at in terms of growth. The two are the same in the sense that the more you put in the more you get out. Finding that balance of good enough is the challenge. Perfect being the enemy of good as a mentor once told me.
As I paid my bill in Portland little did I realize that my life would be forever changed. Had I not been exposed to this experience of being a leader, in an area I’ve become an expert i.e. the person in the room that know most about a particular subject. I probably wouldn’t have started to open my eyes the possibility of reaching my fullest potential, or at least not for a while. What was really powerful was realizing that my mind operates in the gray area of business and of life. Not many people think in this way and even less voice their opinion about it. It’s not flashy or easy… yet it’s the foundation of setting myself up for success.
“Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.” - Winston Churchill
How many times have you gone “all in” and started something with the intention to never slow down? And when you do slow down you beat yourself up? And then you feel like you ruined the momentum and there’s no point in picking it back up because you’ve wasted time?
If this is you… It’s OK! You are not alone.
My intention with starting a blog on personal development was really about expressing and sharing my story to empower others. I got caught up in the mechanics of needing to post at specific times and if I didn’t it was inefficient. I know I’ve made an impact and that I’m living my vision based on feedback I’ve received. These past few months have been so incredibly powerful. However, I’ve had such a difficult time actually sitting down and reflecting on what I normally would reflect on. I completed a really big milestone last month and jumped right back into the fire without taking a break. I had been in this mindset that if I do X, then Y is going to suffer so I was continuously letting different areas of my life suffer at the expense of being obligated/loyal to others. I created results that have excited me yet have impacted my daily, weekly and monthly routines, causing them to fall to the side. Living in a new way of being intentional with my actions, I’ve accelerated growth in both leadership and starting fresh has instilled a new sense of focus and purpose.
Having said all this what has been coming up as a theme for me is creating win/win or “both and” as a few of my coaches and trainers have coined. For me, I thought for a long time that I am limited in my amount of time, energy, money, love, etc. that I am able to give out. If I put my energy into one thing then I’m taking away from another. And that mindset has really created such limiting beliefs, not allowing me to even entertain the possibility of having both. Hence, why such a long break in blogs. To be clear... the break I’ve taken has been intentional in the sense that I created a block for myself where I’ve been attached to the result of quality and not just doing things to check a box. What hasn’t been intentional is falling back into a mindset of “either or”. Instead of being focused on a few things I shifted to be focused on a lot of things. What happened was being open and focused on more things created being closed off to the possibility that other areas got to suffer. I’m sure many people can relate… think of parents who chose work over family. Or vice versa parents who chose to stay at home and raise children over pursuing dreams/career. Neither is right or wrong however both stand that one has to suffer over the other.
I know when I have a lot going on and things start to flow traditionally I’ve chased that “feeling” of being accomplished and relied on that as momentum to fuel my drive. This has caused me to cut corners and not do my best work because I’m focused on the result instead of my way of being. If I’m checking boxes to check boxes my work is going to suffer. I’ve made huge strides here and I’m not perfect and the awareness of being able to catch myself and shift has been such a gift. I’ve set my foundation and have prepared for what I get to execute on and know it’s not going to be perfect. I get to be OK with that. I’m not intending for screw ups but if I’m unable to be confident and flow and be creative then I’m doing myself a disservice.
I’m excited that I’ve created a support network, structure and vision for my next phase of where I get to take my passions and career and life. Now is the fun part, I get to put action into place on the plan. And in order to be successful in this I get to continue to practice creating “both and” because if I’m letting other areas of my life suffer at the expense of creating success in other areas I’m not setting myself up to win in the long run.
I invite you to create “both and” in your life as well. This doesn’t mean signing up for everything under the sun. It means be open to all possibilities that by creating a state of mind of being able to do it all, things will fall into place. Maybe not how you envision them however that’s where you get to not be attached to the result. It might mean that you get support or you get to do a smaller portion of what you wanted. Not to sacrifice one part of your life in order to serve the other. Living in the possibility of being open to being able to negotiate what you want and if you can’t make that happen by being in that mindset I am open to
Going forward, you can count on at least 2 blogs per month. With very well thought out content that will support you the reader in your own personal development journey! I’m excited to continue to share and empower others to grow.
A dear friend of mine has started an amazing blog series/page. Check out her powerful writing!
Here's her website and below is the latest post in regards to Autism Awareness.
"On the eve of Autism Awareness month, I remember this …
The room went dark, in 15 minutes the generator would kick in and the fortunate guests of the 5 star hotel would bask in electricity while the majority of the City would stay dark. I had grown used to this over the years, this was India. I was on a call with my colleague and with the loss of the lights so was the topic of business. Quickly the conversation turned to personal matters her father was battling cancer and supporting her family was weighing heavily on her. I remember my words of “family first, be there for your mom” and thinking drink in these days with your dad. Then the raw emotion of the discussion brought me to my own conflict (probably from not living my own words) and my tears fell freely. Weeks before this trip my son had been diagnosed with autism."
READ MORE HERE...
Self-acknowledgement is something that had been very difficult for me...
I’ve downplayed my successes or limited myself in leadership roles in the past because I was unsure of myself. Also talking about myself in “public” is something that I (and most people) find incredibly difficult. So when a friend said, “I want you to acknowledge yourself everyday… on Facebook for 30 days”. I immediately went through a range of emotions.
Happy… this might be cool
Angry… this is going to make people think I’m an arrogant a-hole
Sad… why am I resisting this? Can I really not compliment myself?
Fearful… what if my friends/family think I’m going off the deep end…
After all of that processing (in about 8 seconds mind you) I accepted the challenge with open arms because growth comes from being uncomfortable and becoming comfortable with that.
On to the challenge!
In 30 days...
… I completed 26 posts
… I collected a total of 573 likes
… I had 3 people ask me if everything was OK
For the first 10 days I came out of the gate strong. Compliments were flowing, it was simple and I was clear in what I was saying. People reacted and enjoyed my posts, I was doing it!
The next 10 days is where I got a mix of struggling with coming up with posts and remembering to do it. I missed 2 days and normally that might cause me to get down on myself. As I mentioned before in my post about my streak with no alcohol I can sometimes get caught up in the streak instead of the way of being in the exercise.
The home stretch… the last 10 days. This was the most challenging and most rewarding. It took creativity and persistence and not giving up on myself and knowing that I could make it to the end. Again struggling to come up with unique complements and missing a couple days I still was determined to finish.
Really what I’ve learned about self-image and self-love from the exercise has really been invaluable. So I love my friend for seeing the greatness in me when I sometimes couldn’t. I realized that I’ve put so much emphasis on the word and action of acknowledgement. I was saving self-acknowledgement for only rare occasions and special moments but wasn’t allowing myself to be acknowledge for the simple things because I felt that wasn’t deserving. That sets an unreasonable expectation… and I’m done with that. I can love myself for anything. For taking a shower or giving back to a charity. There’s no limit.
I would highly recommend doing this. See how it goes… if people in your life think you are being arrogant or looking for attention that’s their own issue. We get to love ourselves in order to give back. That’s just how it works because if I rely on someone else my power goes out the window.
Have an amazing day and weekend!
If you would like to do the 30 day self compliment challenge give yourself one compliment per day and #selflove30 also tag me on social media. @lifesgeneralist either Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.
At the beginning of the year I made a commitment to myself no alcohol for the first 3 months of the year. I made it 72 days... 18 days shy of my goal. I had 2 IPA’s from my favorite brewery the other night… so how did I feel the next day?
A mixture of laziness, guilt, relief, disappointment, happiness, release etc. I’m grateful for all of that. The “streak” had become so much about the # of days and I was depriving myself instead of learning the lesson of balance. Like most nutritionist talk about… diets don’t work... 80/20… have cheat days, etc. that’s more healthy.
There’s a lot bad that can come from alcohol so I don’t want to be insensitive to issues of addiction and disease which are very real to me. Also I’m not bashing anyone for being a social drinker. The point I want to circle back to is about a relationship with anything that we use as a crutch. Like drinking coffee in the morning... otherwise you can’t start your day or having a cigarette in the night. I’m not a smoker or coffee drinker but I’m going to draw a conclusion that it’s similar… it’s chasing after a feeling that you can’t get on your own. Really that’s why hangovers are both physically and mentally rough. Because we are beating ourselves up over giving away our power to something else.
Why did I start this to begin with? My intention for not drinking wasn’t for reasons like losing weight or saving money or health concerns (those all were nice to haves) but really I felt the need to shift my relationship with alcohol. It was holding me back from being at my best by enabling me to think that I needed it to be my authentic and unapologetic self.
Coming out of these past 72 days, I’ve proven to myself over and over again that I don’t need it. I’ve discovered how fun I can be, how funny I can be, how I can feel deeply (both happy and sad), how charming I can be, how daring I can be, how I can take risks and enjoy them, etc. I have that strength already within… so I don’t need something to mask that up. I don’t need the validation of giving into peer pressure or acceptance by trying to fit in. And that’s been the best result I could have hoped for. So yeah I didn’t need 18 more days to help me realize that. Why wait for that discovery if it happened earlier?
Also posting about it and really talking about it with others after I completed my personal challenge has opened up the space to be vulnerable about it. People have shared their stories and family history and the good and bad. So I’m happy that we can demystify the topic and address that something like alcohol can be very destructive but it can also be OK in the right balance. Or if that can’t exist then being OK to be open to talk about it and not feel ashamed or pressured. It’s so common at events, mixers, in the workspace, even yoga w/ wine is a thing. So if it’s in our faces so much and we don’t talk about our relationship it gets ignored.
Will I drink going forward and how much and why? I will for the right reasons, never in excess and never to disconnect or because I can’t cope. That’s my intention. It gets to be for the reasons that serve me. Some might ask how can it serve you? For the joy of the taste and the bonding experience around that. That fun sometimes could be worth it to me and having one or two drinks.
I get to be in balance in my life and avoid the quick fixes of turning to things when I’m coming from an emotional state. Now I can solve those as they come up and I can move forward with intention and come from a state of “will this serve me?”. And it very well could be that I’m in a situation where I just want a drink and that’s OK. I’m grateful to be at that space with a tough subject matter. I’m also grateful for the fact that I can control that because I know some people can’t. So this isn’t pro-drinking or anti-alcohol post. It’s really about finding out how you can be your best self and truly ask do I need x, y or z to be that person.
I did a guest post for the amazing Chloe Gower.
Check it out here!
*GUEST BLOG* How healthy living is not only possible but the key to being your best self! - By chloe Gower
As an entrepreneur, business owner, wife, mom and community service involved individual I am busy. It seems as though days fly by without a moment to take a breath. Yet, our health and this body is the most important thing we have. If we run ourselves into the ground, then what will be left for all the things the successful individual desires to do?
I remember a time in college when I was spread too thin and not making the right health choices. Triple shot espresso latte’s at night, and struggling to find food I could eat out so settling for a weak salad that left me starving and snacking later. I know better now and get to help others make healthier choices.
Now, I’m sure those don’t seem like the worst choices ever, but everything will add up over time. I was exhausted, overstimulated and under nourished. Many entrepreneurs struggle with the ability to be healthy when life doesn’t give them well… any give. Greasy fast food, late night steaks, wine dinners, early mornings with no breakfast at all may seem like the crown of “I’m getting so much done” but in reality it sets us up to fail… something so successful person wants to hear or be.
I learned the hard way that if your body isn’t working, then neither is your ventures. An unhealthy and malnourished person is less likely to have as much energy, mental clarity, memory and life span as their healthier counterparts. This means you may be working harder, but not being as productive as those that are actually taking care of themselves.
So what’s the solution? Do you have to completely reprioritize your life and put everything on hold to get your health back on track? NO NOT AT ALL! Being healthy is actually way simpler that most people make it out to be. You can spend minimal time tweaking just a few things in your life to produce the health you and businesses deserve. As a certified holistic health coach to entrepreneurial women, I recommend making small sustainable changes over time vs. jumping on a diet. Try these 3 small tweaks to start getting more productive and healthier so you can work and live on the next level.
1. Get another 15 Z’s.
“AHHHH!!” “Is she REALLY telling me I need to get more sleep??” Yes I am, and before you tune out, listen in for productivity sake. If you get an extra 15 minutes of sleep each night for a week, it would add up to almost two hours more in your weekly sleep bank. I think we can all afford an extra 15 minutes right? I mean, all you have to do is cut those cat videos out and… wa-la!
Ways to help yourself get that extra 15 minutes a night are setting an alarm 15 minutes earlier than you usually go to bed or have your outfit laid out, coffee brewed and papers packed in the morning so you can sleep in an extra 15.
Want a challenge? Try adding 30 minutes on to your daily sleep span and see how you feel. The extra sleep might just make you TWO TIMES as productive!. For tips how to fall asleep faster, check out my video on falling asleep faster HERE.
2 Breakfast is your new assistant.
“I already have 5 assistants” you may say. Well congratulations, you just got another! Eating breakfast is a PRIORITY in your life and will help you be more productive at work. Skipping breakfast can keep your energy low, blood sugar in flux all day and keep you in a bad mood. Fueling your body first thing in the morning helps increase the ability to focus though the day and sharpens the minds ability to remember tasks. This can be beneficial for things like writing, presentations and delegating task.
Imagine spending just five more minutes either at night or in the morning throwing something healthy together that keeps your blood sugar high and stable. Really that’s all it takes! I recommend to my clients a low sugar/ high protein and moderate to high fat breakfast for sustained energy and slow burning fuel. Here are some quick 5-minute breakfasts that will give you more focus and productivity for the day.
1. Bullet proof coffee (my breakfast of choice). You can read more about it HERE and just so you know… Butter is good for you (grass fed that is). Increase your metal focus and fat burning by making this quick option a daily routine. If you aren’t about coffee or trying to cut back, check out Criobru.com for swapping your coffee for cocoa beans. I made the swap and love it.
2. Organic oatmeal + almond butter + berries + flax meal. This breakfast has the right type of carbs, proteins and fats to keep you full and focused all day! It’s easy and can be prepped the night before.
3. Sprouted whole-wheat (or gluten free) toast with avocado and organic wild caught salmon. Ok, ok… this one’s is a little fancy, but this is one of my favorite breakfasts. You can prep everything the night before and really start out your day nourishing yourself and being oh so luxurious.
4. Whole fat unsweetened Greek yogurt (or coconut yogurt, my favorite) with black berries, hemp hearts and walnuts. This is a great way to start your day and is really low carb/sugar for those of you wanting to add more protein in. P.s. fat is good!!! Ditching the fat sets you up for craving later on and eating more sugar. Keep the fat. Another tip, add CINNAMON – it balances your blood sugar.
5. Eggs, spinach and black beans: The Slow Carb Diet, Tim Ferris’ breakfast of choice. Probably one of the simplest ones on the list, this is a great way to get perfect portions of each macro nutrient you need while also making things simple! You can check out his blog and how-to video HERE.
3. Eat out the right way
When you are in business or on the go all day it’s hard to eat healthy or make the right decisions. Late nights eating out or quick lunches make for not-so-healthy choices. However, being aware of better options at your favorite places can help you fuel your body and keep your energy up (not to mention keep your waistline in check). I recommend two different things to the people I work with: one's general guidelines (for something like a gourmet steak house) and healthier options out (for a quick lunch at a fast food places).
Here are general guidelines when eating out:
Try your best to go for a healthy source of protein, as many veggies as you can and a healthy and well-portioned carb.
Aim for ½ your plate of veggies, ¼ protein and ¼ healthy carb serving. This could be whole wheat or gluten free pasta with chicken and a side salad. Try for a smaller portion of the pasta or only eat half. If you're ordering a large steak, try a 4-6 oz. Really, that’s all the meat you need to satiate your steak craving.
Make sure your steak comes with as many veggies as you can get, and a smaller (1/4 plate) of mash potatoes. If you’re really feeling like upping your energy, swap the potatoes for another serving of veggies! Focus on getting as many veggies on your plate as possible.
Also, moderate your alcohol and deserts. Your colleagues may be chugging but you do not have to. Opt for red wine and just one glass as the best option for a drink, and for desserts go for something that is small, you can share and is lower in sugar like a flourless chocolate cake vs. Ice cream sundae with hot fudge sauce.
Here are 5 healthier options at popular restaurants I recommend to my clients:
1. Chipotle or Mexican food. Swap a sour cream burrito with a salad bowl topped with black beans/ meat of choice and guacamole. If you must get a tortilla, go for corn not wheat. Cutting at least half the dairy and adding more whole food options will crush your afternoon lull.
2. Samaria jacks or Asian cuisine. Opt out of a large bowl of yakisoba and instead, go for some steamed veggies, brown rice and a healthy portion of protein. Get your sauce on the side and don’t use all of it.
3. Italian food. Like above, choose between bread and pasta, not both. Choose protein and veggies to go with you carb of choice for balanced energy.
4. Subway. Rather than a foot long with white bread, swap it for whole wheat, gluten free or even better, no bread at all. Subway now offers a salad of any sandwich you like. Just by choosing to forgo the bread you will have extended mental clarity all day. Get as many veggies as you can, and instead of processed dressing try oil and vinegar, it’s delicious!
5. Fast food drive through like McDonald or Wendy’s. I would hope that you wouldn’t have to resort to this. However, when you’re limited to true fast food try this swap. Instead of a burger and a bun see if you can get a grilled chicken wrap with a side salad. Avoided breaded and deep fried things and go for grilled, baked or salads with protein. Skip the soda and get soda water with lemon.
I hope these small tweaks help you along your journey to a healthier and more productive you!
Chloe Gower – Certified Holistic Health Coach – Founder of The Freedom Digest
Vision has been on the front of my mind for days, months, years. Most people ask the same question. “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”. It’s a legitimate question and creates provoking thoughts but for the most part in my experience this question is often answered with “I don’t know” or “I could be X or Y it all depends if Z happens for me first”.
So what’s happening? Are you driving the car? Or... are you sitting in the back of an uber without giving the person a location or directions and hoping they find your house? It feels that way when we say when I get this next job then I’ll figure it out... or when I finish Grad School or I’ll wait until my big next idea hits me. So why are we waiting and afraid to declare we want something? Because it’s bold, it’s scary, it’s uncomfortable, it’s permanent, there’s a right answer and I have to find it. Who am I to think I deserve X or Y or Z? How the heck am I going to figure out what I want if I don’t know how to get there?
"Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." -Harriet Tubman
In the personal development world vision isn’t a new concepts but still the question gets asked all the time… why? Because people don’t know. I didn’t know. We are taking risks here and there and feeling like “OK that’s enough for today don’t want to get too crazy”... myself included. What happens is we suffocate any dreaming big because we don’t know how to fan the flame.
I created an exercise for you all to do that will support your vision of dreaming big.
Take all the categories in your life. Family, money, career, relationships, travel, romance…
Write out for each category your vision based on the following prompts (categories on the left and three prompt across top):
Next… copy and paste column 1 & 2’s answers to column 2 & 3.
So column “... I’m so angry” is the new “... I could have done more” then create a new “... never thought that was possible”.
What we are doing is creating possibility and shoot for the stars and landing on the moon. Living in that possibility and breaking that limiting self belief. By not putting limitations and being upset that your initiation dream is disappointing gives you the power and right to dream big.
Give this a try and let me know how it felt!
By not asking for help you rob people of the feeling of support. You being a lone wolf only makes you a taker in society. We have been groomed by corporations to be taught to be entrepreneurs, self-starters and work independently. But what good does that do when we aren’t able to help each other or learn how to support in an efficient way.
More specifically here are 3 reasons why to ask for support...
I’ve been learning a lot of lessons about leadership and finding the above to be a challenge as I become a better leader.
Where I struggle is if I don’t invoke a purpose/vision and assume people will just help me based on my own work ethic then I will fail. More often then not people will show up uninspired or not at all. The extra work of uninspired workers falls back on the leader who then won’t have time or energy or patience to acknowledge those that do show up others which leads to resentment from the support team and leader and a bad experience.
Where I have success is if I do invoke a purpose/vision for doing something. Even if it’s for something small how can that person feel empowered or fulfilled by supporting me. And showing that by even asking for help and being vulnerable I’m creating an environment for more help and more vulnerability which sets us up for long term success.
My request of you is to really connect with the people on your team, tribe, family, etc. Acknowledge them, be grateful and of course hold them accountable.
That’s being a giver not a taker.
Starting March 1st a limited number of full-time coaching spots will be available for my coaching program.
If you are interested and haven't already please schedule a FREE 30 minute discovery coaching session today!
**SPACE IS LIMITED**