By not asking for help you rob people of the feeling of support. You being a lone wolf only makes you a taker in society. We have been groomed by corporations to be taught to be entrepreneurs, self-starters and work independently. But what good does that do when we aren’t able to help each other or learn how to support in an efficient way.
More specifically here are 3 reasons why to ask for support...
I’ve been learning a lot of lessons about leadership and finding the above to be a challenge as I become a better leader. Where I struggle is if I don’t invoke a purpose/vision and assume people will just help me based on my own work ethic then I will fail. More often then not people will show up uninspired or not at all. The extra work of uninspired workers falls back on the leader who then won’t have time or energy or patience to acknowledge those that do show up others which leads to resentment from the support team and leader and a bad experience. *deep breathe* Where I have success is if I do invoke a purpose/vision for doing something. Even if it’s for something small how can that person feel empowered or fulfilled by supporting me. And showing that by even asking for help and being vulnerable I’m creating an environment for more help and more vulnerability which sets us up for long term success. My request of you is to really connect with the people on your team, tribe, family, etc. Acknowledge them, be grateful and of course hold them accountable. That’s being a giver not a taker. Starting March 1st a limited number of full-time coaching spots will be available for my coaching program. If you are interested and haven't already please schedule a FREE 30 minute discovery coaching session today! **SPACE IS LIMITED** Contact us!
Very much like my week this song starts off upbeat peaks, mellows out, peaks then mellows... Love an amazing upbeat tune with ridiculous guitar solo's from the GREATEST guitar play of all time... IMO :)
I was tempted to write this blog on Wednesday as normal however I kept feeling the need to push it out further and further. I don’t think it was due to procrastinating more like I wanted to see how the week would end. A lot happened this week and Monday feels like a month ago.
I’ve touched on this in a past blog… it’s sometimes difficult to appreciate the accomplishments we make in a particular week. Or even give ourselves credit. I know I have and still sometimes beat the crap out of myself for not getting more done. So I’ve started writing down everything I’ve accomplished in a week. Not to focus on the result but to shut that part of my mind up. That negative self talk that is always poking that is Captain Hindsight. We don’t allow ourselves to make mistakes or take those as lessons which save us time in the long run. We think we should have a crystal ball and be able to predict every situation… “Ugh… if I only had thought of Google and new it would be this huge this I would be rich right now.”... yep, I’ve had that conversation. But a few things struck me this week as I continue to practice letting go of that feeling of being behind or wishing I had started earlier. It’s really about being OK with a week of planting seeds and taking action on past planted seeds. Or like seeing rain for the first time in a long time. It's going to take some time for that rain to sink into the ground. As the prior weeks seeds grow you are able to see the fruits of your labor and by taking action you get that feeling of satisfaction. Also by planting future seeds (scheduling meetings, starting a new habit, etc.) you’ll be filling that fulfillment pipeline. As long as you have a week full of both you’ll be able to set yourself up for success. With this model your negative self talk doesn’t stand a chance. Monday I went out to Downtown LA, specific Skid Row and helped raise over $2,000 and feed over 1,300 homeless in less then 3 hrs. There was a team of over 50 of us calling people, organizing food pick ups, picking locations, tracking $ and number of people fed. It was such an amazing example of teamwork and taking action. Normally I would have been OK with that being my action for the week… but I spent the whole week planting seeds, taking action without seeing immediate results and breaking habits that have formed because I knew that the feeling of a high of a helping people in a sporadic event would fade. Much like the meal the people had and that tomorrow would bring it’s own challenges.
Being on the west coast now it’s difficult to appreciate things that I haven’t had connections to for longer then 6 months. There’s obviously things and people where I have an immediate connection and I have been lucky to meet those people and find some of those places. However longevity is underappreciated in my mind especially coming from a place I’ve lived for 30 plus years.
Appreciate these relationships because when they are gone you’ll wished you had. Losing Butch Trucks from the Allman Brothers Band reinforced that this week.
I really appreciate the ability to get lost in a song and jam... especially with really solid jams. It can make sitting in traffic fun. Good/Bad is all about perspective.
I often looked at life not wanting “bad” things to happen or letting people, circumstances or things to impact how I felt. After listening to Chris Lee talks about resistance in person and with Lewis Howes on his podcast, I really never appreciated the different “players” in life. Or how their specific roles when viewed in the proper context can be used as some of the biggest tools you’ll get in life.
Breakdown to breakthrough. How often we dread looking at specific things in order to avoid the feelings or being uncomfortable. But from that comes our greatest lessons and it’s like having a memory of a goldfish. Never remembering and embracing those anxious feelings lead to breakthroughs/lessons. Part of it is the addiction to being comfortable… we live in the space of “I want to be in place where I’m financially secure” or “I’d like to leave this job but I’m comfortable and that’s OK”. We get attached to it like a drug and in the chaos of life’s changing environment we get shocked into reality and realize we really don’t like being comfortable. It’s nice for a little while but it’s boring and it causes the same feelings that we look to avoid. It’s a vicious cycle… anxious>look for comfort>find comfort>become bored disengaged>anxious about unfulfillment>should have made a change earlier>beating myself up about the past>my life is terrible and ruined... Sound familiar? I relate it to surfing… I’ve been 3 times in my life so I’m a pro #gnarly. When I finally catch a wave after trying for hours and ride it all the way to shore I’m pumped. I had vision of hanging 10 and a result/success… awesome. Now the next action is critical… A) turn around and get back out there and apply the success/lessons and do it again or B) bask in the glory of riding a single wave because I’m unsure if I’ll be able to catch another one and I don’t want to ruin that rush… just hang out and watch more waves that I could have ridden. Instead of being caught up with the result of how many waves and perfect rides… why not just go into the day with the mindset of “I rode 15 waves and shredded my face off brah!!”. Recently this concept has been prevalent in a lot of my conversations. Results win… for the most part. They win in business, they win in relationships, they win in health and fitness. However, there is a hidden nugget that I’ve been missing for a long time which has start to click over the past couple years and very much recently. Instead of being in the mindset that results motivate you. Put yourself in the mindset that you’ve already achieved the result… the result DOES NOT matter… I’ll repeat that. THE RESULT DOES NOT MATTER. You get to use result as your benchmark of your declaration of what you want to achieve AND put yourself in that mindset of what does it feel like to achieve ________. Once you’ve achieve this mindset the result won’t matter because you already won. The next piece is critical however… TAKE ACTION. You will be confident, fearless and determined. The things that would shake you before no longer do because you’ve already WON. It’s so simple but yet one of the most challenging things to do. It’s putting faith that your belief in yourself will achieve some vast goal. BUT the great thing is… you don’t need the goal… you just need the mindset and with that the goals will take care of themselves as long as you are taking specific action. So it’s not a fingers crossed, sit on my but and pray the universe will drop something in my lap. It’s INTENTION + ACTION! In conclusion, Break free from resisting, don’t get comfortable and set intention + action. For more information about how you can make 2017 the best year of your life book a free coaching session. After having days or weeks or months just feeling stuck I finally had enough. Even recently with all of the progress I've made I still slip like I mentioned last week. And that's OK because what came from it is the this tool that I'd love for people to use when they need a shift.
Over the years I've developed and worked through tips that have worked for me and below are some of my most impactful tips. Print this off, share it with friends and hopefully this can help you break out of whatever anxiety, feeling down, affraid, stuck... etc. We are not our emotions!
This was a beautiful way to ring in the new year. Wash away all that came before during this year and a wonderful performance by Phish felt completely appropriate and beautiful.
Love them and their creativity! I’ve been in a vulnerable space recently and not afraid to admit it. As a personal development coach portraying yourself as perfect to me is not being authentic. I’ve developed systems and tools and did whatever it took to breakthrough the other side. I am sharing this because I want to empower others with what has worked to save time and energy for people feeling the same way of being anxious, guilty, unfulfilled in life.
Having said that… there are of course times that test us and traveling home for the holidays then leaving after an emotional week has been challenging. Coming out of that though I was able to create content and learn more about myself so my viewpoint has shifted. And I’ve been able to do that through the work I’ve done. As an analytical person I’ve always looked for the deeper meaning in concepts like “you are exactly where you need to be”. Depending on the day and my headspace this can be interpreted in very different ways. I interpreted “you are exactly where you need to be” by looking at patience vs. urgency and here’s how... Certain things take time to cultivate but which ones? Does patient mean complacent? Urgency breeds action but is it the right action? Have we become impatient with having access to the world at our fingertips? Patience… Relationships, family, careers, love, trust… these take time to develop. These are a journey not a destination. We need to understand that these overarching parts of life are not a click of a button and purchased through Amazon. They require work, dedication and connection. Urgency… Forgiveness, accountability, passion, freedom, authenticity… these can be applied in little to no time. These are a part of us no matter where we go. So applying these with urgency can serve the overarching parts of life. But apply urgency to for example: trust rather then building it through being authentic or forgiving rarely works. For more information about how you can make 2017 the best year of your life book a free coaching session.
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need When you feel so tired but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse When the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone but it goes to waste Could it be worse? Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you High up above or down below When you're too in love to let it go If you never try you'll never know Just what you're worth Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you Tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you cannot replace Tears come streaming down your face And I Tears come streaming down your face I promise you I will learn from all my mistakes Tears come streaming down your face And I Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you |
David HallNormal guy with comedic tendencies... introverted with extroverted tendencies... yogi with stressful tendencies... over 30 years old with under 30 year old tendencies Archives
November 2017
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