Whether it's a side hobby or living out your dream you can still win even if you bail. It's all about how you define success. I've touched on this in my past blog about failure but I'll go into more specifics here. Whenever setting a goal most people identify the win as completing the specific goal. That is a uuuuge risk. You are setting yourself up for 1) being disappointed 2) missing the biggest lessons 3) feeling successful/fulfilled now... first how many times have you bought something online and by the time it's delivered you are disappointed? We put so much weight on the result/goal that it rarely lives up to our expectations. Second you miss the lessons learned and fun during the road to the goal. How often is the road-trip before the destination the most exciting part... there's inside jokes, anticipation being build and snapchats to make other people jealous. It's the best. Last, if you are able to feel successful/fulfilled now, why wait until after you've accomplished a goal? In order to be in the feeling success now mindset let's look at how I got there. So here's what I did for my blog, I asked... If I create a blog and I quit after five blogs what can I take away from that experience to consider it a success? 1) I will have taken action in a time where I’m very hesitant 2) I will develop more skillful and articulate ways to get my message across 3) It will allow me to get out my emotions and thoughts onto paper/online 4) I’ll learn about social media, SEO, branding, promotion, creative content 5) It may help one or more people relate and inspire others 6) It may lead me to finding another side passion or purpose (coaching, podcasting, new industry, etc.) 7) I’ll be 100% accountable it’s nobody else’s “fault” for posting blogs 8) It will help establish another habit that is positive 9) It’s specific and attainable but challenging goal 10) it will be fun and is something I’m interested in currently By outlining wins I can hang my hat on during a commitment to a goal I'm able to be in a positive mindset and enjoy the process. Even when things get hard it's easier to welcome al the ups and downs and not get discouraged. And lastly, if you realize that goal no longer serves your vision, it wasn't a waste of time. So long story short... if this is my last blog I win... It's not... but you get the idea. Something people struggle with on both ends of the extrovert/introvert spectrum. The extrovert commonly associated with overconfidence while the introvert commonly associated with lacking of confidence. It’s because in the simplest terms it seems these two should cancel each other out. If I’m self-aware of my own flaws how can I be confident knowing I have a particular “weakness”. Conversely if I don't care or I’m oblivious of my own flaws… why shouldn’t I have confidence? There’s also a middle ground that an introvert or extrovert you can find. It’s being OK with the fact that we all have strengths and “weaknesses” or opportunities for growth. And to recognize and be humble about that should in fact bring you self-confidence because you are in the smaller population that is self-aware enough to go there… did I put your mind in a pretzel? As you get older you see this in its basic form with kids… some children will try anything right away and that might lead to them making mistakes, being embarrassed or getting hurt. Other kids over assess all the risks and get so overwhelmed it leads to indecision and possibly missing opportunities. Or they might eventually try it and like it but have to live with the regret of “why didn’t I start this sooner?”. In most cases they are OK making the deal instead of the alternative of jumping without assessing and feeling pain, embarrassment, fear, etc. I’m not entirely sure where the sweet spot lands... However as an introvert try and jumping in head first in a “safe” environment to build that habit of going first and trusting instincts and actually feeling that pain and getting over it. And extroverts take that second to reflect to maybe not jump from that rope swing and be on the next episode of America’s Funniest Video. My advice and what I've been following is give whatever makes you uncomfortable a try and I’m sure you will either enjoy the process of pushing yourself or curse and blame me for any failure... but again failure isn't a bad thing.
I heard this in yoga... it's a bit different then what I normally post... i.e. the three other songs but this you can put on and just zone out for 20 mins and get lost in it. Amazingly zen and beautiful. #namastayrighthere
Somehow the sounds quality is like it's playing on a record player and not my computer speaks... also most country I'm not a fan of but this sounds like bourbon on a rocking chair on a porch.
I used to be a terrible speaker… I still struggle but I'm much more comfortable. I kind of mumble and talk softly sometimes and can't find the words but I got sick of feeling this way. Not being able to volunteer to go first or ask questions in an audience and lacking confidence in a public setting ate away at me... I decided to do something about it. I started taking improv classes at the beginning of the year and have stuck with it all year and to be honest it’s been life changing experience and a tremendous help. You learn so many lessons you can apply to day to day life. You learn to allow things to unfold and be open-minded and trust your instincts. This translates to less effort in the long run… you are allowing your brain to actually be clear about a decision. You learn about being present with scene partner or partners and trusting strangers to not let you fail. By no means is it always funny and I’m constantly stopping myself from trying to prepare a funny punch line to get a laugh and feel good about a scene then to take a risk and fail and grow from it. But you develop courage… the bolder your risk the funnier the results in most cases and it’s just developing the habits to take those risks that makes it reward... Keegan explains it so perfectly. There’s such a high emotional intelligence that one develops… it’s a completely different art form and it’s so relatable. The skills developed like most things in life take a lot of repetition so if you are able to be patient and work within the structure of the process you’ll see amazing results. This is a kick in the ass reminder I gave myself today... stop worrying if things don’t move fast enough for you right now. I’m reading Bill Bryson’s ‘I’m a Stranger Here Myself’ and in one chapter he talks about the waste of our society. He’s actually hilarious... very dry humor would probably crush it in improv. He talks about how we leave computers on all night because we can’t be bothered to wait the 15 seconds it takes to power up in the morning (granted this was in the '90s but still true). It’s difficult to be patient in this day in age… life is short and we can have most things at the click of a button so why can’t we have fulfillment, careers we love and happiness all right now. The balance we need to find in ourselves is… things aren’t binary… there is no right or wrong way. As long as you know you are investing everything you have (which may vary day to day, week to week, month to month, etc.) then things will work themselves out… trust the process and do something that makes you feel uncomfortable and grow from it. In the meantime... try an improv class and pretend to be a dog or cow in front of strangers… I swear you will feel like you can run through a wall after. Or want to crawl in a hole… either way you are better off for it. This article nailed it… I’ve been waiting for this day to come after a stretch of weeks of solid positive feelings and gratefulness (#serenitynow). It’s come to a point where looking at bills and the reality of life has caught up with me. It’s actually a good feeling which is something my old self would think is crazy. Why wish to be anxious when you can breath deeply and feel happy and fulfilled? And it’s not wishing to experience these feelings but it’s learning from them. Life is never… evvvvver going to be lived in a bubble. Something can always knock you off course, a shitty news story, health issues, a bill, stepping in dog poo, etc. but don’t live in that space. Meditation, extreme focus on self-development and a move across the country isn’t going to break years of habits. The frustrating part is knowing the answers and still getting it “wrong”; knowing the triggers and not being able to stay away. Balance is key… a couple weeks back I met two of my biggest influencers in my life right now (Lewis Howes and Andy Puddicombe), went to Disneyland for the first time with my family and went on stage at an improv club in front of 40 strangers and performed a scene with an Australian accent… each of those on their own would be emotional wins and waves most people could ride for weeks or months. Me it was gone within 24hrs… the expectation that I’m this self development journey is all or nothing and no taking my foot off the gas caught up with me during a slow week. I hold myself to such high expectations because I can see the peak performing me and I love that person. However I have no sympathy or allowance for less than that... which is bananas. You can’t sustain that peak… it's called a peak for a reason if you lived there that's called a plateau... Accepting the peaks and valleys of a never ending journey and be OK with a stumble here and there is the goal. Just be grateful and look back at accomplishments and relish in those once in a while but don't stay there like that loaner Peter Pan... you learn a thing or two about the Disney characters when you go on the rides in your 30's.
In honor of one of the best musical traditions from one of the best bands (based on my experiences)... probably my favorite covers of their Halloween tradition of covering an entire album. We will see what they do this year...
*Update Phish cover's David Bowie* “Failure” is viewed by society in such a backwards way and its ruining it for everyone. We’ve failed the word failure… collectively. And its all our faults. When most people think of failure they think negative or permanent like there’s no coming back from it... "I'm not going to try salsa dancing... what if I suck... I'll never be able to try any other dance again...or I’ll literally die... I can't risk that". It paralyzes people from taking risks or challenging themselves. We are all guilty of looking at someone else’s failure and consciously or subconsciously feel a bit better about our lives. We “Monday Morning Quarterback” all the time… “That was such a dumb decision” or “I would have done it this way”. I’m trying to break that mold in me that society has created… watching the fall from grace of celebrities or seeing a car crash... no more I say… I’m coming around to a different approach. Listening to people like Tony Robbins, Tim Ferriss, Gary V, Lewis Howes… all of these extremely successful people they welcome failure. It has fueled most of their success. I’m not saying that they purposely make stupid mistakes... they have learned to take calculated risks with 100% effort and dealing with whatever the results are... big difference. Most people gloss over this about them or other successful people. We dumb it down to the same narrative “well they got lucky” or “they have a gift” or “they are stronger then I am”... some of that may be true it’s not the full story. They have all worked extremely hard and we get to see the movie trailer of their life (as Tim said in drunk dial podcast). We get to see the successes of their stories… or if they go bankrupt and get addicted to Pokemon Go E!News will show that too... You see this with everyday people with social media pages. I’m most likely not going to post a selfie of me in gym shorts eating oatmeal for dinner out of a souvenir baseball cup because I don’t want to put myself in more debt. I might post a picture of me traveling a few weeks with something like “my office for the day” while sitting poolside… But the point is we want to avoid a certain appearance of failure… which in some cases is OK.. the fake it till you make it… visualizing, etc. and just being happy all the time. But that’s not how we grow… we need adversity and to be self-aware of failure when it happens… but even before that we need to think of ways where we can take successes from something failing. It’s not life or death or pass or fail you can take successes from any failure if you prepare before hand. Write down how X risk will be successful even if you end up quitting it or having to stop pursuing it. What can you take from that experience whether it’s developing a new skill, inspiring others or meeting new people etc. All in all I want to view things in my life less in an all or nothing fashion and more what can I learn or take away from this experience if I fall on my face. I’m off to go have oatmeal for lunch so I don’t go into more debt.
I've never seen these guys but this song is catchy... I assume he has a man bun to go with pipes and solid melodies. Will keep an eye for more from them... enjoy.
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David HallNormal guy with comedic tendencies... introverted with extroverted tendencies... yogi with stressful tendencies... over 30 years old with under 30 year old tendencies Archives
November 2017
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