I may catch some heat for not posting the original Neil Young version but this version has a pretty cool twist and takes the tempo of an amazing melody to a different level. It felt right to post this around the Thanksgiving holiday... especially being in LA now... no I haven't sold out.
Being away from home for the first time for Thanksgiving has been a very eye opening experience. I realized the pressure to have one day be perfect only to have it eventually be disappointing has been my mindset for so long around the holidays. Even if traffic is smooth, you arrive on time, the food is great and the families get along… something will usually trigger me to feel unsatisfied. Maybe it's having that extra piece of pie or beer or the person you are dating didn’t text you first to say "Happy Turkey Day" or your neck is sore from awkwardly sleeping in a rocking chair… either way I've found something always seems to get in the way of perfection.
Today walking around where I live, specifically in an area that seemed to not even acknowledge the holiday, I found people were out and about. Stores were still open, pickup basketball was happening… it was as if it was a normal day. I found comfort in that though, it caused me to reflect and really think that we don’t have to wait for one specific day to come together and be perfect to tell our families or friends we appreciate them. We can do the same thing tomorrow, or next week, or next month or whenever. By putting expectations on one day we set ourselves up to be disappointed and more importantly we can’t be present and enjoy that moment.
I've found over this past specifically year with a focus on meditation and being present I've had more authentic moments then I can remember having in years. I've felt emotions so strongly from the littlest actions like saying hello to complete strangers or appreciating someone’s time or effort.
So tomorrow when you are hungover or feeling bloated take the time to think more about what you are grateful for and don’t wait until next year to express it. Make a habit out of it and watch the expectations fly out the window like that button on your jeans after the third bowls of Brigham's Ice Cream.
I love this band and this album and this song. The title is a good reminder to negatively visualize and to not rely on external factors to contribute to your happiness because they can be easily taken away. #harmonies
Whether it's a side hobby or living out your dream you can still win even if you bail. It's all about how you define success. I've touched on this in my past blog about failure but I'll go into more specifics here. Whenever setting a goal most people identify the win as completing the specific goal. That is a uuuuge risk. You are setting yourself up for 1) being disappointed 2) missing the biggest lessons 3) feeling successful/fulfilled now... first how many times have you bought something online and by the time it's delivered you are disappointed? We put so much weight on the result/goal that it rarely lives up to our expectations. Second you miss the lessons learned and fun during the road to the goal. How often is the road-trip before the destination the most exciting part... there's inside jokes, anticipation being build and snapchats to make other people jealous. It's the best. Last, if you are able to feel successful/fulfilled now, why wait until after you've accomplished a goal?
In order to be in the feeling success now mindset let's look at how I got there. So here's what I did for my blog, I asked...
If I create a blog and I quit after five blogs what can I take away from that experience to consider it a success?
1) I will have taken action in a time where I’m very hesitant
2) I will develop more skillful and articulate ways to get my message across
3) It will allow me to get out my emotions and thoughts onto paper/online
4) I’ll learn about social media, SEO, branding, promotion, creative content
5) It may help one or more people relate and inspire others
6) It may lead me to finding another side passion or purpose (coaching, podcasting, new industry, etc.)
7) I’ll be 100% accountable it’s nobody else’s “fault” for posting blogs
8) It will help establish another habit that is positive
9) It’s specific and attainable but challenging goal
10) it will be fun and is something I’m interested in currently
By outlining wins I can hang my hat on during a commitment to a goal I'm able to be in a positive mindset and enjoy the process. Even when things get hard it's easier to welcome al the ups and downs and not get discouraged. And lastly, if you realize that goal no longer serves your vision, it wasn't a waste of time.
So long story short... if this is my last blog I win... It's not... but you get the idea.
Something people struggle with on both ends of the extrovert/introvert spectrum. The extrovert commonly associated with overconfidence while the introvert commonly associated with lacking of confidence. It’s because in the simplest terms it seems these two should cancel each other out. If I’m self-aware of my own flaws how can I be confident knowing I have a particular “weakness”. Conversely if I don't care or I’m oblivious of my own flaws… why shouldn’t I have confidence? There’s also a middle ground that an introvert or extrovert you can find. It’s being OK with the fact that we all have strengths and “weaknesses” or opportunities for growth. And to recognize and be humble about that should in fact bring you self-confidence because you are in the smaller population that is self-aware enough to go there… did I put your mind in a pretzel?
As you get older you see this in its basic form with kids… some children will try anything right away and that might lead to them making mistakes, being embarrassed or getting hurt. Other kids over assess all the risks and get so overwhelmed it leads to indecision and possibly missing opportunities. Or they might eventually try it and like it but have to live with the regret of “why didn’t I start this sooner?”. In most cases they are OK making the deal instead of the alternative of jumping without assessing and feeling pain, embarrassment, fear, etc.
I’m not entirely sure where the sweet spot lands... However as an introvert try and jumping in head first in a “safe” environment to build that habit of going first and trusting instincts and actually feeling that pain and getting over it. And extroverts take that second to reflect to maybe not jump from that rope swing and be on the next episode of America’s Funniest Video.
My advice and what I've been following is give whatever makes you uncomfortable a try and I’m sure you will either enjoy the process of pushing yourself or curse and blame me for any failure... but again failure isn't a bad thing.
I heard this in yoga... it's a bit different then what I normally post... i.e. the three other songs but this you can put on and just zone out for 20 mins and get lost in it. Amazingly zen and beautiful. #namastayrighthere
Somehow the sounds quality is like it's playing on a record player and not my computer speaks... also most country I'm not a fan of but this sounds like bourbon on a rocking chair on a porch.
I used to be a terrible speaker… I still struggle but I'm much more comfortable. I kind of mumble and talk softly sometimes and can't find the words but I got sick of feeling this way. Not being able to volunteer to go first or ask questions in an audience and lacking confidence in a public setting ate away at me... I decided to do something about it. I started taking improv classes at the beginning of the year and have stuck with it all year and to be honest it’s been life changing experience and a tremendous help. You learn so many lessons you can apply to day to day life. You learn to allow things to unfold and be open-minded and trust your instincts. This translates to less effort in the long run… you are allowing your brain to actually be clear about a decision. You learn about being present with scene partner or partners and trusting strangers to not let you fail. By no means is it always funny and I’m constantly stopping myself from trying to prepare a funny punch line to get a laugh and feel good about a scene then to take a risk and fail and grow from it. But you develop courage… the bolder your risk the funnier the results in most cases and it’s just developing the habits to take those risks that makes it reward... Keegan explains it so perfectly. There’s such a high emotional intelligence that one develops… it’s a completely different art form and it’s so relatable. The skills developed like most things in life take a lot of repetition so if you are able to be patient and work within the structure of the process you’ll see amazing results. This is a kick in the ass reminder I gave myself today... stop worrying if things don’t move fast enough for you right now. I’m reading Bill Bryson’s ‘I’m a Stranger Here Myself’ and in one chapter he talks about the waste of our society. He’s actually hilarious... very dry humor would probably crush it in improv. He talks about how we leave computers on all night because we can’t be bothered to wait the 15 seconds it takes to power up in the morning (granted this was in the '90s but still true). It’s difficult to be patient in this day in age… life is short and we can have most things at the click of a button so why can’t we have fulfillment, careers we love and happiness all right now. The balance we need to find in ourselves is… things aren’t binary… there is no right or wrong way. As long as you know you are investing everything you have (which may vary day to day, week to week, month to month, etc.) then things will work themselves out… trust the process and do something that makes you feel uncomfortable and grow from it.
In the meantime... try an improv class and pretend to be a dog or cow in front of strangers… I swear you will feel like you can run through a wall after. Or want to crawl in a hole… either way you are better off for it.
Normal guy with comedic tendencies... introverted with extroverted tendencies... yogi with stressful tendencies... over 30 years old with under 30 year old tendencies